Bubba & the Navigation Lady

It’s a miracle Bubba lived to be able to tell this tale. I nearly killed him. He needed it. We decided to go to the DeKalb County Farmers Market, to pick up a few things for dinner. We’d been there before. Bubba knew how to get there, as his passenger I'd never paid much attention. We, being smart educated IT professionals decide to let the satellite navigation system (SatNav) guide us there. Having secured the address from the Internet, we enter it into the SatNav. “Please proceed to the planned route,” the Navigation lady tells us.

All was well, until we exited I285. Suddenly we weren’t going our “normal” route. But Bubba was “purdy sure” we were still traveling in the right direction. But then he’d say “no this isn’t right (a minute passes) yeah, this is right.” The Navigation Lady says, “You have arrived, your destination is on the right.” WTF? This is Agnes Scott College!

So we drive a round. And we zoom in and out of the map to figure out where we are. And Bubba keeps trying to put the address for the Farmers Market into the SatNav, and it doesn’t want to take it. Bubba keeps trying. Hmm, Carter Library... I’m pretty sure we’re on the wrong end of town.

Do you know how easy it is to navigate the streets of Atlanta? Yeah, exactly. All the while Bubba keeps trying to put the address into the SatNav. (Sigh). “Turn here, no not here, oops, should have turned there.” My patience is wearing thin. Because he keeps punching addresses into the SatNav, the Navigation Lady all this time is spewing out instructions, which I am not following. We don’t know how to shut her up. (Mental note, RTFM!) We’ve been roaming the streets of Atlanta for 30 minutes now, maybe longer. Tempers are short. I am calling the navigation lady the B-word.

AH HA! Marta signs! We know the Farmer’s Market is across from a Marta Station. We’ll follow the Marta Signs! Well, that was a good thought, except the Marta Signs suddenly no longer appeared. Round in circles we went. We had no clue where we were in relation to where we needed to get. Comedy at it’s finest.

I turn onto a street, “this looks right,” Bubba says. “No this isn’t right, but I know where we are.” I glare at him. He instructs me to turn left, but I know this is going away from our destination rather than towards it. I turn. I’m beat, “let’s just go home.” Bubba informs me we are finding this damn place if it kills us. Maybe it’s not actually in Decatur and that’s why the address won’t come up right? Bubba tries to remember some post office in a city that starts with an S. He’s certain that’s the city we want.

Okay, have you ever tried to put a city that begins with an S in the State of Georgia into a navigation system? “Don’t. Touch. The. Navigation. System!!”

Which way is downtown Decatur square? That way he instructs me. Fine, I flip a U, make a right, and make a left. Ponce. Ahhh. I know where I am. Bubba is still fiddling with the SatNav. 10 minutes later we arrive. I plot the car, SCOTSDALE. Well, to Bubba’s credit, the city really did begin with an S … why the phone listing said Decatur was beyond me. Perhaps it’s like the Sandy Springs/Atlanta thing. Who knows really?

Screw diner, after that, I need a drink!